How to Save a Marriage – Can Separating Save My Marriage?

Friday, January 22nd, 2010

Staying together won’t help you save your marriage

How to save a marriage
Staying together with your spouse for the sake of the children hoping that your relationship will get better, doesn’t often work if you want to save your marriage and avoid a divorce. Inevitably, sooner or later you will most likely end up seperating. Is there another way to save your relationship that might be more effective?

Get your ex back now

You might have been told that you should be talking to your partner, listening to what he or she is telling you and then taking steps change your behaviour to put all of your faults right. If both of you work very hard at doing this then your marriage will be saved right? Well maybe not.

Is your spouse even interested in saving your marriage?

This advice is only going to work for you if you and your partner both want to avoid a divorce. Unfortunately this often isn’t the case. It’s more likely that one of you wants to save the relationship but the other one is more concerned with getting out as quickly as possible. If this is the case then you can’t work together towards a reconciliation and if you can’t work together then conventional advice simply isn’t going to work.

Don’t try pleading and promising that you will change either because it won’t work. All it will do is make you look weak and needy in your spouses eyes. You’ll end up pushing your partner further and further away faster than if you had simply accepted the break up.

How to save your marriage by enjoying yourself

Rather than trying to throw yourself at your partner and destroying your relationship you could try a separation instead. You might think that this sounds like a strange thing to do. How do you end up being together when you’ve just separated? Well believe it or not it does work and it could save your marriage even if your spouse doesn’t want it to.

Separating does several things for you. First off your partner will start to realize exactly what she or he will be giving up if your relationship comes to an end. If you’ve always been a loving partner and good provider then he or she will miss these qualities in you. Contrary to popular belief – The grass is not always greener on the other side at all?

If your spouse can see that you are having a good time without her she will start to remember the reasons why the two of you got together in the first place. This is the time when you must concentrate on saving your marriage by simply being yourself away from you spouse and make sure that she knows what you’re doing. The more she can see you enjoying yourself and no longer appearing to need her, the more attractive you will become to her. If you do it right you might even find that your spouse starts trying to save your marriage all by herself, even if she was the one that broke up with you.

It’s not necessary to move out

You don’t really need to be physically separated to have a relationship separation. In fact it will help you if you don’t because it will make it easier for your spouse to see you being yourself. Talk to your partner and tell her that you know that she wants a divorce and so you’re going to get a life and start living the way you want to. Let her notice that you come home late from the office and that you’re now dating again. You can even ask her advice about your dates and how you can make a good impression. This is sure to get her thinking.

How to save a marriage with roses
You might be surprised with the results from this “how to save a marriage” strategy. Lets be honest now, your marriage was likely to end in divorce anyway wasn’t it?, so what have you got to lose? You will be showing your partner that you don’t need them any more which will make you more attractive and maybe your spouse will start to reconsider what it is that they really want.

Author: Steve Gee

How To Get Your Wife Back After Divorce

Monday, January 18th, 2010

People sometimes do marry the same person twice believe it or not

Get the definitive guide to getting your wife back

It’s not impossible to get your wife back after you have divorced. If you want to know how to get your wife back after divorce you could look for inspiration at one of the most famous examples of people marrying twice. The actor Richard Burton remarried Elizabeth Taylor again after they got divorced. But how can two people that have gone through the trauma of divorce, ever get back together again?

It’s a lot easier to prevent divorce before it gets to the point of legal separation and finality but the process of patching things up and getting back together again is the same whether you have divorced or not.

I’m not a marriage councilor nor did I manage to prevent my 20-year relationship from breaking up amicably when we had drifted apart. Over the years I’ve watched as many of my friends got divorced and I’ve noticed a few things that are common in all these situations including my own.

The broken relationships that I’ve witnessed seemed to fail either because neither partner wanted to save it, or just one of the pair wanted to and used techniques that appeared very reasonable at the time but were completely ineffective.

If at least one of you wants to stop divorce then you have a chance to do so

I guess that there’s nothing to be done when neither partner wants to save the marriage but there has to be at least a chance if one of you does. So what is it that so many people in this situation do wrong?

Perhaps they try too hard. They plead with their partner to reconsider and promise that they will change their ways. This is natural human behaviour and most would consider it a reasonable course to take but it rarely works unfortunately. If you’re trying to get your wife back after a divorce or prevent your marriage breaking up then pleading is the last thing you should do. You should be concentrating on making yourself more attractive to your partner instead of persuading her that you’re weak by pleading and lying about changes that you’ll make that she knows that you won’t.

Be strong, that’s how to get your wife back after divorce

Don’t plead, don’t argue and don’t become inconsistent by agreeing with her opinion just because you think that’s what she wants to hear. Be strong, dress well and start to take charge of your own life. Show her that you can live without her; she just might decide that she’s missing something by not being with you.

Women are attracted to men who are strong and capable of protecting them. They’re repulsed by weak pleading and prefer to do the chasing themselves. So be strong, confident, self sufficient and consistent with your opinions. It could make all the difference and the secret of how to get your wife back after divorce.

Author: Steve Gee