How to Save a Marriage – Can Separating Save My Marriage?

Friday, January 22nd, 2010

Staying together won’t help you save your marriage

How to save a marriage
Staying together with your spouse for the sake of the children hoping that your relationship will get better, doesn’t often work if you want to save your marriage and avoid a divorce. Inevitably, sooner or later you will most likely end up seperating. Is there another way to save your relationship that might be more effective?

Get your ex back now

You might have been told that you should be talking to your partner, listening to what he or she is telling you and then taking steps change your behaviour to put all of your faults right. If both of you work very hard at doing this then your marriage will be saved right? Well maybe not.

Is your spouse even interested in saving your marriage?

This advice is only going to work for you if you and your partner both want to avoid a divorce. Unfortunately this often isn’t the case. It’s more likely that one of you wants to save the relationship but the other one is more concerned with getting out as quickly as possible. If this is the case then you can’t work together towards a reconciliation and if you can’t work together then conventional advice simply isn’t going to work.

Don’t try pleading and promising that you will change either because it won’t work. All it will do is make you look weak and needy in your spouses eyes. You’ll end up pushing your partner further and further away faster than if you had simply accepted the break up.

How to save your marriage by enjoying yourself

Rather than trying to throw yourself at your partner and destroying your relationship you could try a separation instead. You might think that this sounds like a strange thing to do. How do you end up being together when you’ve just separated? Well believe it or not it does work and it could save your marriage even if your spouse doesn’t want it to.

Separating does several things for you. First off your partner will start to realize exactly what she or he will be giving up if your relationship comes to an end. If you’ve always been a loving partner and good provider then he or she will miss these qualities in you. Contrary to popular belief – The grass is not always greener on the other side at all?

If your spouse can see that you are having a good time without her she will start to remember the reasons why the two of you got together in the first place. This is the time when you must concentrate on saving your marriage by simply being yourself away from you spouse and make sure that she knows what you’re doing. The more she can see you enjoying yourself and no longer appearing to need her, the more attractive you will become to her. If you do it right you might even find that your spouse starts trying to save your marriage all by herself, even if she was the one that broke up with you.

It’s not necessary to move out

You don’t really need to be physically separated to have a relationship separation. In fact it will help you if you don’t because it will make it easier for your spouse to see you being yourself. Talk to your partner and tell her that you know that she wants a divorce and so you’re going to get a life and start living the way you want to. Let her notice that you come home late from the office and that you’re now dating again. You can even ask her advice about your dates and how you can make a good impression. This is sure to get her thinking.

How to save a marriage with roses
You might be surprised with the results from this “how to save a marriage” strategy. Lets be honest now, your marriage was likely to end in divorce anyway wasn’t it?, so what have you got to lose? You will be showing your partner that you don’t need them any more which will make you more attractive and maybe your spouse will start to reconsider what it is that they really want.

Author: Steve Gee